


A Bit of Illusion-Like Memories

by Neelh



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon Non-Binary Character, Gen, Help My Son, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:53:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10039814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neelh/pseuds/Neelh
Summary: Long-term world-saving is a lot more difficult than doing so on the fly is, and eventually something has got to give. And, obviously, it's going to be the emotional issues and repressed memories that shaped him into the person he is today.To be honest, a Mewtwo failing miserably at being a therapist isn't the weirdest thing about Ash's life so far.





	

**Author's Note:**

> minor spoilers for the game version of pokemon sun/moon
> 
> for the purposes of this story, i'm assuming that ash is going to a) go to ultra space because of lillie's family issues and b) he's going to be involved in ultra beast cleanup
> 
> and if that doesn't happen, because we've only seen the fifteenth episode of sun/moon so far, then this can be an au!!!

Exeggutor Island was calm.

The Pokémon all seemed relaxed and sleepy under the warm sunset, and many of them had simply curled up in the tall grass, clumped together in little groups of friends and family. The ocean breeze smelt salty and familiar, and also a little bit like decomposing Pyukumuku guts. That was kind of gross, to be honest.

Not that anyone minded, really! Most of the Pokémon were used to it, and the sole human on the island was a bit too busy crying after venting out every bad thing that had happened to him, ever, ranging from breaking his favourite action figure to almost drowning while saving the world for roughly the eighth time.

“That’s… A lot of trauma,” said Mewtwo, patting Ash on the back awkwardly.

Ash still wasn’t breathing properly, and Pikachu was looking deeply concerned, so Mewtwo scratched their head and tried to think of something to say.

“I’m sorry about your near-death experiences, but I guess you really need to come to terms with it,” they finally came up with.

“Pikachu…” said Pikachu. He didn’t look impressed. Ash began to cry, yet again.

“Aren’t you sixteen, or something?” asked Mewtwo. “I mean, I’ve met some other Mewtwo, so I guess that makes me Mewtwenty or something, and some of them have met you before when you were younger. Apparently you’ve been almost-dying since you were ten.”

“I still feel like I’m ten!” wailed Ash. “I haven’t celebrated my birthday since the thing with the Latios dying, and whenever I’m scared, my brain just resets me to when I was a little kid!”

“Pikapi chu ka pika,” Pikachu nodded sagely. “Cha pika ka!”

“That’s dumb,” said Mewtwo.

“I know,” replied Ash. “But I can’t stop it. It just happens.”

The three of them sat in silence for a while at the mouth of the cave, watching the sun set on the horizon. Ash began to cry again for a little while, but he wasn’t very loud and no tears fell.

“You need better ways to cope,” Mewtwo said, when Ash had finally quieted.

Ash shrugged. “Usually I just train my Pokémon and try to forget about it, but sometimes it just hits me, you know?”

“Yes, I know.”

Mewtwo did not know. Mewtwo was about a year old and was the result of another Mewtwo cloning itself. The closest thing that Mewtwo had to trauma was tripping over while paddling in the ocean on their first week in Alola.

Ash probably thought that they were like that really cool Mewtwo that murdered him one time. Mewtwo saw no reason to make themself look less awesome and capable. They could probably murder a teenager anyway, so they weren’t really pretending on that side of things.

“It’s just, I’ve seen so many Pokémon and people die, and I’ve held their corpses, and… I guess that finally going to school again made me realise that normal kids don’t do that.”

Ash didn’t look at Mewtwo as he spoke, which was fair enough. Humans did a lot of looking at others when they spoke. It was stupid. They should be looking out for danger, not studying their companions. Actually, they might be onto something, as they could be betrayed at any moment. Mewtwo found a small amount of respect for the powerless and squishy bipeds in that moment.

But only for a moment. They then decided, again, that humans looking at each other while talking was stupid.

Mewtwo did, however, look at Ash wryly. They weren’t in any danger on this island. “Ash Ketchum, I am a Pokémon. Arguably, I am one of the most powerful Pokémon in the world. I have no idea what a normal kid is, and even I know that it’s weird to nearly die that many times.”

“It’s just sticking in my head a lot more, recently,” Ash said, still addressing the horizon line. “I should be over it, but I just can’t stop thinking about everything else that’s happened!”

“Trauma,” Mewtwo muttered.

Ash apparently did not hear this incredible insight, as he continued talking. “I think it’s just that I’ve run out of adrenaline and energy, because all of the other times I’ve protected people has been on the spur of the moment, and I just went in there and-” He slapped his palm against his fist, barely missing Pikachu’s ear. “-blam! I helped to stop the apocalypse or whatever else is happening. But this whole Ultra Beast thing is just… They could be anywhere! And I can’t be on all of the islands at once, so I’ve just gotta hope that people report sightings of them so me and my friends can get everyone else safe and catch the Ultra Beasts.”

Mewtwo shrugged. “I never went to Ultra Space, Ash. I can’t help out with attracting them to me and destroying them all instead of letting them hurt you or other Pokémon or whatever.”

“Thanks for the sentiment, I guess,” mumbled Ash.

The tree of them sat in near-silence for quite a while. Occasionally, Pikachu made a noise in order to remind Mewtwo of his existence.

“Why did you really seek me out?” said Mewtwo as the final dregs of the sunset drained out of the sky, letting night take hold of the sky for a while.

Ash laughed quietly. “It’s silly,” he said. “You’ll think that I’m a little kid.”

“Ash Ketchum,” Mewtwo replied, “I am two years old. I can guarantee that you are older than every Mewtwo alive. To treat you as a little kid would be disrespectful.”

This time, Ash’s laughter was genuine. “For some reason, I don’t think that you’re one for respect, much.”

Mewtwo raised a finger for a moment, before lowering it slowly. “Actually, you have a point there. But still, you’re generally considered respectable amongst cloned Pokémon. If I act like a jerk to you, word would probably get around and I’d be ostracised from my own kind.”

Ash blinked. “What’s an ostrich?”

“Ostracised, Ketchum,” Mewtwo replied, sighing through their nose. “You know, alienated?”

If anything, this made Ash look even more confused. “Aliens? I thought that you were a clone from Earth, though. Are you from space, like Deoxys and Minior?”

“What? No!” exclaimed Mewtwo. “Haven’t you ever read a dictionary?”

Ash’s face contorted into one of disbelief, which was weirder than his expression of bewilderment, to be frank. “People _do_ that?”

“I did it,” Mewtwo frowned. “It was integral to my development.”

Ash pouted. “Now you’re using all these big words just to spite me, aren’t you?”

Mewtwo sighed. “I don’t have any friends. This is the most entertaining thing that has happened to me since I destroyed my television.”

Ash’s mouth twitched, and Mewtwo scratched their nose. It was difficult with their round fingertips, but they managed.

“We’re not talking about what we should be,” they said after a few more seconds of awkward silence. “Why did you look for me?”

Pikachu climbed into Ash’s arms and let the boy hug him like a child’s stuffed toy. Mewtwo had left their Cleffa doll in the back of the cave, and they considered getting it for the boy to hug instead, but the kid chose that moment to speak.

Ash’s voice was quiet. “I wanted to see if you could erase my memories, or edit them somehow so that they weren’t so…”

“I know,” Mewtwo said, and they were still lying. They hadn’t lived long enough to understand.

“Can you?” asked Ash, and he sounded so eager that Mewtwo almost forgot that he had been the poster child for depression five seconds ago.

Actually, no they hadn’t. He’d been whining for two hours straight. It wasn’t easy to forget that.

Either way, it looked like a huge weight had been lifted from Ash’s shoulders, and Mewtwo could see the child that had saved her kind from the path of war and destruction against humanity. Ash Ketchum was truly a remarkable boy. Man. From Mewtwo’s research, teenage human males would get tetchy about the ages implied by various words used to describe them.

That didn’t matter, though. None of it mattered.

“I can’t do that,” said Mewtwo.

Ash visibly deflated, his lips falling open in a silent sigh of resignation. Pikachu took the opportunity to breathe as Ash’s muscles loosened, as if in sleep.

“I can, however, give you some good advice,” said Mewtwo quickly. Disappointing Ash felt a lot worse than they thought it would, so fixing it – hopefully – would help them to stop feeling so bad.

“What is it?” asked the boy, his eyes wide.

No wonder he still felt ten; when he was that excited, he looked like puberty had never metaphorically punched him in the nose.

That is to say, he looked like a child.

Mewtwo rested a hand on Ash’s shoulder and made sure that he was making eye contact with them before they spoke. Apparently humans did better when eye contact was made during important speeches. It was yet another thing that Mewtwo would never understand, having been isolated from humans since their birth-creation, whatever word described it better.

“Talk to your friends and family about this stuff instead of repressing it, and go to therapy,” Mewtwo said. “Seriously, go to therapy.”

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from together with the wind (the japanese credit song for mewtwo strikes back!!!) but please let there be good weather tomorrow (from the fourth movie!!!) fits better with the story in my opinion
> 
> i'm on a pokemon kick right now. this took an hour, roughly. i love projecting my neurodivergences onto fictional characters with whom i relate


End file.
